Radio Silence

Radio silence doesn't mean that i dont want to talk to you. It just means that I am trying to set a rule for myself to follow to ensure that I don't. The more i talk, the more i feel sad. It is a fucked up feeling so i rather be in this state right now. The state where i try and envision what you are doing and how you are feeling but i rather not know.

Somehow or rather, my left ankle hurts after my short afternoon nap. walking is a problem. What the fuck. I still wanna run tonight. Seems like the plan has to be postpone. Fucked up.

Unremovable

This is just getting from bad to bad. Unremovable thoughts and feelings. Wondering if there is reinforcement from typing this.

I guess it is not a bad thing after all.

莫文蔚-如果沒有你

Reservist

Reservist was fucking busy. 3 packs in 4 days. that's not a small amount to me. Throat hurt like crazy now but it doesnt matter.

Only wanted to come out and talk to her. However, smsed but no reply. never appear on msn too. Maybe she blocked me.

I guess its the end now.not really happy. wont be. time might heal it. Now, focus on business as usual. Maybe working extremely hard will get me off this fucked up feeling. songs arent helping also.

A week is not a week

It seems the week didnt pass. Even though i was officially out of touched with the world, i found ways and means. It seems that this will not be something that will move on fast.

In the meanwhile, how are u?

Oldies

Oldies always seems to bring the emotions.

Its a drinking night again.

Solitude

It has been a damn long day. Many things happened. To others, i guess they are simple stuff but to me, it means a lot. I guess the only one i can confined in is you right now.

Life used to be so simple. Now it is so complicated. Liking someone is really something that is torturing to me. It has its sweet side but the plain fact that nothing can ever come out of it makes it very difficult.

I think i think too much. Every words she said, every seconds she takes to reply causes me to think about what is the motive behind it. Why is she doing that? Is it a good sign or is it a bad one. I dont know. I guess i will never know.

I feel totally fucked up. Every day, when i wake up, i will wait on my msn for her to come online. When she goes online, i will ponder if i want to talk to her. Shall i wait for her to talk to me instead? When she talks to me, i am worried abt her replies. It is getting seriously quite insane inside me. Yet a part of me tells me that i should not give up because i seriously like her.

Life sucks, take drugs. Just take things as it comes. Never works.

Useless

I dont know why blog so much nowadays. Perhaps it is because i need to say something out but i dont want anyone to see or hear it.

Kind of feel useless now. Reason? Nah, i dont want to share on this blog too. Just dejected. Somehow or rather, i dont feel the same nowadays. More affected by her feelings and action. Its not a good thing.

Her words and actions really affect me a lot. Not a good sign. Or is it? Confused.

Worried

Worried about her being alone, worried about her safety, worried about her being emo, worried about her health, worried about her being cold. NABEI!

You will always be there

I know its impossible. Damn fucking painful. Never had this type of experience before. Stay happy yea and healthy.

Feel like drinking again.

I give up

I give up on my personal life. I give up on my love. I give up. I just want to be alone, drink and smoke. FUCK OFF EMOTIONS!

Let me die in peace

This is really making me crazy. FUCK