Cloud Strife

sick

2012-01-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

sick. i passed by the place twice. the place where i screwed up. the last place.

Over?

2012-01-19T21:22:00.001+08:00

Not.

Alone

2012-01-14T01:40:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it is difficult to let go. Wonder if it is because it is this loneliness driving me?

Who cares. Life is just fucked up anyway. Time to take a chill pill!

So it ended

2012-01-04T17:52:00.000+08:00

After so long, it is still unforgettable.

Wonder why.

I guess its time to let go.

I tried to be friends, but to no anvil.

So I isolated.

Breathe.

Limit

2012-01-01T03:35:00.001+08:00

There is only so much one can take. I guess i have reached my limits.

Radio Silence

2011-12-21T23:39:00.001+08:00

Radio silence doesn't mean that i dont want to talk to you. It just means that I am trying to set a rule for myself to follow to ensure that I don't. The more i talk, the more i feel sad. It is a fucked up feeling so i rather be in this state right now. The state where i try and envision what you are doing and how you are feeling but i rather not know.

Somehow or rather, my left ankle hurts after my short afternoon nap. walking is a problem. What the fuck. I still wanna run tonight. Seems like the plan has to be postpone. Fucked up.

Unremovable

2011-12-20T12:02:00.001+08:00

This is just getting from bad to bad. Unremovable thoughts and feelings. Wondering if there is reinforcement from typing this.

I guess it is not a bad thing after all.

莫文蔚-如果沒有你

2011-12-18T14:41:00.000+08:00

莫文蔚-如果沒有你

Reservist

2011-12-18T12:48:00.001+08:00

Reservist was fucking busy. 3 packs in 4 days. that's not a small amount to me. Throat hurt like crazy now but it doesnt matter.

Only wanted to come out and talk to her. However, smsed but no reply. never appear on msn too. Maybe she blocked me.

I guess its the end now.not really happy. wont be. time might heal it. Now, focus on business as usual. Maybe working extremely hard will get me off this fucked up feeling. songs arent helping also.

A week is not a week

2011-12-17T12:38:00.002+08:00

It seems the week didnt pass. Even though i was officially out of touched with the world, i found ways and means. It seems that this will not be something that will move on fast.

In the meanwhile, how are u?

Oldies

2011-12-12T01:28:00.000+08:00

Oldies always seems to bring the emotions.

Its a drinking night again.

Solitude

2011-12-11T03:12:00.002+08:00

It has been a damn long day. Many things happened. To others, i guess they are simple stuff but to me, it means a lot. I guess the only one i can confined in is you right now.

Life used to be so simple. Now it is so complicated. Liking someone is really something that is torturing to me. It has its sweet side but the plain fact that nothing can ever come out of it makes it very difficult.

I think i think too much. Every words she said, every seconds she takes to reply causes me to think about what is the motive behind it. Why is she doing that? Is it a good sign or is it a bad one. I dont know. I guess i will never know.

I feel totally fucked up. Every day, when i wake up, i will wait on my msn for her to come online. When she goes online, i will ponder if i want to talk to her. Shall i wait for her to talk to me instead? When she talks to me, i am worried abt her replies. It is getting seriously quite insane inside me. Yet a part of me tells me that i should not give up because i seriously like her.

Life sucks, take drugs. Just take things as it comes. Never works.

Useless

2011-12-10T02:33:00.001+08:00

I dont know why blog so much nowadays. Perhaps it is because i need to say something out but i dont want anyone to see or hear it.

Kind of feel useless now. Reason? Nah, i dont want to share on this blog too. Just dejected. Somehow or rather, i dont feel the same nowadays. More affected by her feelings and action. Its not a good thing.

Her words and actions really affect me a lot. Not a good sign. Or is it? Confused.

Worried

2011-12-09T18:41:00.000+08:00

Worried about her being alone, worried about her safety, worried about her being emo, worried about her health, worried about her being cold. NABEI!

You will always be there

2011-12-06T20:53:00.000+08:00

I know its impossible. Damn fucking painful. Never had this type of experience before. Stay happy yea and healthy.

Feel like drinking again.

I give up

2011-12-02T20:46:00.001+08:00

I give up on my personal life. I give up on my love. I give up. I just want to be alone, drink and smoke. FUCK OFF EMOTIONS!

Let me die in peace

2011-12-01T16:51:00.001+08:00

This is really making me crazy. FUCK

Missing you

2011-11-29T16:35:00.001+08:00

Somehow or rather, this feeling is so new.

Love is for the weak!

2011-11-17T19:14:00.001+08:00

Fucking FUCK!

2011-11-01T01:05:00.001+08:00

I am sick of people asking me to be tactful, telling me I am lousy. I am sick of people belittling me and looking down on me. I am sick of almighty people who jumps on me for every little mistakes I make. I am sick of all these fucking bullshit in my life.

Why can't I live my life with the flaws I have?

Facade

2011-09-09T22:53:00.001+08:00

What is a facade?

A sigh of relief

2011-09-05T00:57:00.002+08:00

This week is really very torturous.

It started out with the presentation on Thursday and also the planning for the negotiation. Also there were some side issues but they are not important though they sap up some time. Busy like hell with plenty of work to do. Not to help was the drinking session. Really regreted doing that as I personally felt cheated and betrayed by it when people backstabbed me. Actually, now thinking about it, I am damn pissed off. So this is what you get from helping people. A stab in the fucking back.

On the other hand, this week is crazy is also because of the incidents that happened. So many things happened. It really made me go bonkers. Felt really lonely during Friday and Saturday. Although I always seem career-driven but i know the main reason why i am there is because of my family. And that includes my brother and uncle who is not related to me by blood. Luckily things are solved. Felt and feel frustrated by my character.

This episode made me learn a lot. It made me stronger. It also let me recognize that some people which you call friends or close buddies might not be so. I remember asking a buddy out to chat thrice and gotten rejected thrice. THRICE. When I need him the most. Disappointed. I wanted to turn to some but they are just not the one or I dont feel comfortable talking to them. It really shows what kind of person i am and what kind of friends i have.

However, am very grateful to have Alvin and Nathan.

Alvin - First, i would like to apologize to you for not confiding in you. It just seems weird that i speak to you about loneliness and relationship. Though you are my best friend but our usual topic is on personality and character. Loneliness just seems so gay to be talking to you with. Forgive me on that. But do trust me that u are very very very very important to me.

Nathan - Working with you. Knowing you. It just seems different as we are quite different but the feeling is that we can be very very very good bros. Even a best friend. Although we have our differences, we will definitely work it out.

These are 2 of my best bros where i spend a lot of time with. At this moment of time, i really hope that it will be the same in 50 years' time.

Empty

2011-08-20T23:55:00.001+08:00

I just feel so empty now. Empty. Nothing.

我的心太乱

2011-08-20T20:42:00.001+08:00

It just seems like that. i guess my life will be like this. a bit down and out. Will be back.

我的心太乱不敢再贪更多爱
想哭的我却怎么哭也哭不出来

我的心太乱要一些空白
老天在不在忘了为我来安排

Heart Broken

2011-07-11T19:31:00.001+08:00

I give up.

My Scholarship

2011-06-08T20:56:00.002+08:00

After so many years not blogging, i guess the people here dwindled. It doesnt matter to me. Blog to me is just a form of saying things i dont want people to hear, yet things that i want to vent out. It is not meant for the whole world to know, just for the small, few, couple? of people to see and know what i am thinking of.

It has been a while since i received the news. It is not really good news considering i went in well. However, i do not and will not regret my choice. I enter uni to learn things, to explore the world and meet people. I didnt enter uni to get grades. I know that there are tons of people better than me, since and always. I remember my times in secondary school or JC where i was always the bottom of my class. Where am i now? I pride myself on my character and integrity, my responsibility and my bravery. However, that does not prevent me from feeling sad. It's over.

In uni, i met a lot of people. I am happy that i can meet some true friends that are not with me for fame, glory or money.

Office

2011-06-03T16:14:00.001+08:00

Office politics. Human Politics. What will i do without a best buddy that keeps prompting me and pulling me from going into the wrong path.

Anyway I have successfully quitted smoking for 1 day. BUT I FEEL LIKE SMOKING. omg. let me endure!

Tempest

2011-06-02T17:11:00.003+08:00

There are many things I don't understand.

However, that doesn't mean you can ask me to do things without explaining them to me. I hate to be just a robot.

And you. Of all people you. Have to come in and say the wrong things at the wrong time. Please consider my thought. I do not have the same context as you all, who went to collect the items.

Dulan.

What life has been so far

2011-01-08T14:32:00.001+08:00

Unexpected. Abrupt. Sad. Frustrated.

New Semester

2010-10-04T18:15:00.000+08:00

New semester. I guess i have been trying to focus myself, concentrating on my goals. Business came to a good start. 2 deals. perhaps slow but i am happy with it.

My partner is zhiyu. a very happy and merticulous guy. Good with accounting too. Perhaps not very tactful with words and thinking but its okay. Pisses me off sometimes and i have to say we have very different thinking. However that is fine. I hope that will spark off very good productivity.

In other words, old friends are still around. Met mr li yesterday. not bad. had fun. talked cock.

Maybe

2010-09-09T21:51:00.002+08:00

Perhaps this feeling came about because my family is overseas. Or perhaps that was just a excuse for me to dismiss this awkward feeling inside me.

After the incident last year, we have not been meeting up. The whole group. Or at least me. Sometimes, i wonder why i am in school? To study? Where are all my friends? I have friends. However, they just seemed to be so far away from me at the moment. They have their own group. They have their own things to do.

Perhaps its just a need to find a sense of belonging.

Cant find that in Frisbee, cant find that in LKC too. Where do i belong?

Maybe it is because i am stuck in a GSR alone now working on my powerpoint slides.

Maybe it is time to find someone to sit beside me. Maybe...

Pissed Off

2010-09-09T21:11:00.000+08:00

DULAN.

perhaps i need to go for persuasion course. :)

New Biz and feelings of it

2010-08-30T22:46:00.000+08:00

Setting up a new biz. A bit scared, a bit excited. More worried and stressed on managing work and studies. More worried on getting cheated. More lonely because i will be working on my own.

On the other hand, there is this feeling developing inside me. Is it her? Could it be? Shall wait and see.

Dulan

2010-04-15T23:50:00.000+08:00

Fucking Dulan.

Why the fuck have i met so many irresponsible people in university?

CCB!

So be it

2010-03-23T23:10:00.001+08:00

Maybe i was too rush. Maybe i shouldnt pour my true self to everyone. it sucks to try and advise someone who is moody and get fucked by it. so be it. nothing much. just ranting. maybe not everyone can take it, or should i say, some of us live by our own rules. so be it.

Tired

2010-03-03T15:51:00.000+08:00

Really Tired nowadays. dont know why. sick of studies and projects and meeting.

persevere on man!

Persevere, Responsibility, Tenacity

2010-01-15T18:32:00.004+08:00

Plenty of things going through the mind now. SMU10, OCIP, Innovation Catalyst Program, Results, Frisbee. All of them important in their very own ways.

Somehow, i miss Hazel. Miss her as my VP, covering up everything i do with such ease. Comfortable. Perhaps because we have been through a lot. Done alot, getting scolded a lot, seen alot. i miss SL too, though i know he will never be what he was(not that i am gay and i am certainly not). Giving me encouragement when i am down, when i am confused. He seems to understand. I miss Tecks too, a source of advise. Wisdom and maturity radiates from him like a sun radiates heat and light. how i will look for advise and direction when i seem to lost myself in the darkness. Where are all of u? i guess i am alone now and i will persevere. i could never find back the team i had work with. the team that brings about memories of pain(YES) and joy. laughter and sadness. looking back, i seemed so committed then to the team, to the fact that i can cry in tears when we part. i dont cry. is this what they call the comfort zone? i want my ODAC days back. it is this sudden influx of feeling that brings me here, blogging.

My new team is a wonderful team. rational, smart people. funny too. i like them a lot. however, time is needed to really bond like what we did in ODAC. i am confident we can make it!

smu10 is becoming a chore to do. i know its not right to say this. hahaz, i have said it. I will recognize the fact. but i will not bow down to it. i will make sure my team completes it beautifully, in style, without mistakes. i would like to thank all of u. for trusting me, for believing in me, for having faith in me. i will make us proud.

OCIP(or should i just say NO IDEA) is another important event. it is of the utmost importance to me. trust me, have faith in me and believe in me. its not easy to lead friends. i am learning too. i might make mistakes along the way, but i will amend them. i will overcome them and bring us to greater heights. have faith in yourself too. You are damn zai people and it is damn stressful to lead all of you. but i can and i have the ability to do it. we must succeed and we will. i will not let this project fail, FOR ANY REASON!!!

Frisbee! IVP. i will make it to the first team. i will improve. i will do it.

Studies. 4.0 this sem. i will do it. no matter what. mug like fuck i shall. this is the commitment i made to myself. i will not let my mum down. live life once, all the way.

Innovation Catalyst Program - something new. something hard. chiong! thanks prof Kee Koon Boon for being understanding. it is important to me. interview here i come. not sure if i can get in anot. hahaz. uncertain but i will definitely do my best.

Friends - thanks for being here.

responsible, responsibly, responsibility - 3 words. all the meaning in the world.

New Year Resolution? or not.

2010-01-12T23:49:00.002+08:00

I just remember i didnt make any new year resolution. But, then again, what's the point in making one. I dont follow them for goodness sake. so i shallnt bother. a few thank you list to add on.

Family - same old thing every year. but isnt that what family is about? the same old people around your life, always supporting you(in words or silence). always there. can i depend on them if i need someone? yes i can.

best friends - mr li and mr phang. u 2 assholes know what i wanna say. and yea, mr li, continue to wash face more often HOR! :P yea. i know they know. best friend for eternity.

no idea - i came in without expecting anything and i guess i have got many things. i am grateful. i might not be the same as u all(in fact i think very differently) but thanks for everything.

others - like eugene, jun han, hao jun(BSO), mei, etc etc PINKY, yea. thanks. from the bottom of my heart.

my life is just like that. normal, nothing exciting. i need to find my goals. i need to do smething constructive. give me meaning.

OCIP

2010-01-12T13:32:00.002+08:00

Personal Expectations. I am quite happy sher told me her mum thinks i will be able to go far in life. it affirms my actions and motivations. it gives me confidence. Sometimes, just a little motivation goes a long way. I want to be zai in whatever i do. i will and must be zai in whatever i do.

concentrate on my studies, OCIP, smu10. :D

Failure

2009-12-12T03:08:00.002+08:00

I dont need anyone to understand and i guess i wont want anyone to understand.

somehow, i am just putting up a false front to others. i know i am a failure and i know i have done fucking badly. i know i have to buck up and i know i have let my family down. fuck. i feel damn fucking bad.

however, i do not need anyone to know this neither do i want. told my frens(some at least). pretend to be okie. i dont want sympathy. let me drown in this darkness.

pissed off at myself. let me rot. sometimes, i just have no correct person to share this info(note the term correct and not close cos i have close frens). why am i writing the disclaimer in front? no one read this blog. i dont need anyone to read this either. i just want to type to vent out my frustration.

do i?

on the other hand, met up with sl and mei. nice to talk after so long. nvr lose touch.

thinking if i will be successful in life. do not have the criteria to. fuck!

Forget

2009-11-29T18:35:00.001+08:00

I am ready. Or not. It doesnt matter. I will forget. Everything. And present a new me.

On the other note, i just won my first winter league match. We won. Great job to the team. However, i just cannot find myself to celebrate my win. I know playing while sick affects my fitness and judgement. I did just that. Did i know that i will jeopardize my team? Yes i did. BUT I PLAYED ANYWAY. assisted one, D one. i want to get well soon. i want to contribute. i want to be in the team.

The Sail

2009-11-24T15:55:00.002+08:00

Mugging in The Sail is always something enjoyable. Not that i have been here very often, just twice. However, the experience of mugging here is wonderful. Quiet, with no one walking by. Spacious room, unlike squeezy and small GSR. Wonderful scenery. Alright, not that wonderful due to the many constructions around the area. Bird's Eye view of the city.

FA just concluded itself 4 hours ago. I can feel my A- flying away. Anyway, its not flying away. Its gone. To keep my scholarship, i MUST secure an A- for both Management Accounting and Corporate Reporting, not to say my 3.4 GPA. They seemed so tough to me now. Its an uphill task. I will buck up now.

Time to mug for BGS...

smu10

2009-11-17T19:15:00.003+08:00

i love my smu10 team. they are efficient, hard working, discipline and smart. not the managers though. too rigid and i feel they restrict my team's creativity. spoken to them. doesnt work. look like life's gonna get tougher.

tough times dont last. tough men do.

Courtesy

2009-11-14T03:35:00.002+08:00

Maybe i have been with my Odacians for too long. Maybe its just me. However, i feel that the new bunch of people i have met have very little regards for courtesy. Or maybe its due to different family background or different culture, different age and maturity or even different lifestyle.

My bunch of Odacians have come to my house to stayover many many times. After eating, we will clear up the plates, empty the trash, wash the bowls, wipe the floor. We will make sure the family is as undisturbed as possible. We will ensure that we leave the place in the same condition as we came here. Is it because we are Odacians(Mr Lim taught us well?). But it couldnt because i notice the same thing with alvin and my other friends.

Not with this current bunch of friends. they treat themselves like kings and queens in other people's home. They expect things to be cleared for them, they expect the owner to serve them, they expect this, they expect that. late at night now, and i hear the demands of mahjong without the slightest hint of disturbing the family, i hear the noise level escalating without considering the number of people in bed(including our friends). ultimately, they lost my respect of them in this area.

Sometimes, spare a thought more for others. Dont be a spoilt brat.

Friends and Frisbee and Work

2009-11-02T21:47:00.003+08:00

I find it increasingly hard to manage my friends, frisbee and Work.

Am i performing well enough? i dont think so. scholar? i duno if i am worthy of being a scholar with my mugging skills. laziness is setting in. i know things are going to be tough. it has alreayd been tough. the rest of them are so strong. mugging and working and involve in their own world. i seem to be something different. where is my mugger sense? where is my attitude to get my summa cum laude.

i dont want to let myself down. i wnat to do my mother proud. i want to be the best.

frisbee is a fun sport. i am getting to like it more and more. soccer is still the best though but no kaki anymore. SIBEI SIAN. i miss my sunday soccer session. where are u all people. i hope i can become damn zai in frisbee. i have no speed. i have no skill. i have no height. hahaz. all i have is my motivation to excel and my determination to succeed. and i will.

alvin, best friend. always. haiz. mentioning alvin is becos i thought of old times. so carefree. miss those days. npcc, odac. i feel so stranger to my odac ppl now. maybe i didnt make enough effort to bind them together. i never had the charisma. i hope i have. its just not in me. haiz. why cant my friend last. i hope alvin will last. the feeling with him horz(best fren feeling dont anyhow think) never changed for me. even till now. dont know if it did for him. life is different. we are different. hope some things always stays.

mum, my most respected person in my life. i will do you proud.

Blog

2009-11-02T13:39:00.001+08:00

Nowadays, i guess i am blogging more.

I think i like a gal. hahaz. i hope my friends that see this dont niao me. hahaz. especially MR LI. hahaz. erm, but no chance, ppl complicated and going to be red.

give up? dont know.

weird day. hope all my frens remain happy.

exam coming. work hard ppl

Lights

2009-10-26T14:55:00.002+08:00

And so... I am lost. hahaz. lost in the jungle.

i still remember singing 10 green bottles in ubin with my CIs, my buddies and meee-eeee. rolling in the mud, doing push up. going to the hall to sleep because of the ant's nest. kayaking. being very fat. more push ups. playing soccer. bondage king. mr david chen's class. cycling at some traffic police thing.

past... the woes of the present and future. how i miss the carefree life of the past.

so near yet so far

2009-10-24T00:27:00.000+08:00

the car sped over a distance of 120km at a speed of 200km/hr just to meet this orange light. Should i chiong or just stop because i could foresee a red light.

so near yet so far.

Times

2009-10-20T12:10:00.002+08:00

As time past in the hectic lifestyle of university, i began to have doubts over myself and what i stand for.

i remembered my goals when i just started university.

1. Summa Cum Laude
2. None else

So have i been working hard towards it? No, i do not think so. i am so engross into the university culture. Girl chasing. Note that there is no S. Frisbee. Projects. My friends.

Studies are often thrown to the back of the mind.

Readjustment of goals. I can do it.

Down

2009-10-20T12:05:00.001+08:00

Jay Sean (feat.Lil Wayne) - Down

Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnnnn, downnnnnnn,
Even if the sky is falling down,
Downnnnn, downnnnn
Ooohhh (ohhh)

You oughta know,
Tonight is the night to let it go,
Put on a show,
I wanna see how you lose control,
So leave it behind, cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape.

So baby don't worry, you are my only,
You won't be lonely,
Even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Dowwwnnnnn, Dowwnnnnn,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Downnnnn, Downnnnnn,
Even if the sky is falling down,

Just let it be,
Come on and bring your body next to me,
I'll take you away, hey,
Turn this place into our private getaway,
So leave it behind 'cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape,
(So why don't we run away)

Baby don't worry, you are my only,
You won't be lonely,
Even if the sk

Soaring in the sky

2009-09-15T17:04:00.001+08:00

I want to soar in the deep blue sky. Careless and Free. But is it true eagles are careless and free?

Intro to Econs

2009-09-09T15:33:00.000+08:00

And so i am stuck in the econs lecture. where i dont know anything at all. wat the fuck right. and the prof is gonna start talking.

and i just finished a fucked up quiz. i am so dead.

i want to love econs. but its getting hard for me

In SMU doing LTB

2009-09-07T21:43:00.002+08:00

I read alvin's blog. read jazzy's blog, read sher's blog. different.

i wonder if all of our life is the same. i wonder what is kendrick's life like. he is smart. sometimes, i feel very stress to be a scholar. i dont think that i am stupid. but i am not super duper smart. i dont read papers. i am not updated in stuff. i dont think like them. sometimes, i feel alienated. i know i am smart to a certain extent. but to a certain extent. i wonder what they see in me to become a scholar. WORK HARD. whatever i lack, i will get it back. i want my summa. i wish, i hope, i will.

leadership is something i feel i have. i think i have. however, i am starting to feel otherwise. so many ppl are better than me.

i dont fit into SMU. i dont really fit anyway. people listen to english songs. i love chinese songs. i love hokkien songs. i love canto songs. i love to sing kbox. people here are so different. i dont feel at home. i am not going to bluff myself again that i feel totally at home with odac. there are some ppl that i cannot get along with. i am a perfectionist and i hope for the best. i want to be the best. and i really want to have super high eq. but i have to admit that my eq is not as good as i want it to. i am brash(some of my frens say). or tactless?? is it good to be too straight forward? how will i survive in society?

i have my own sorts of problems. they are by no means small to me. no one can understand and no one can really help.

i love my friends. they are my laughter, they are my life. they are the one that make my day. by myself, i will nvr live for one day. of cos family is better than friends. i will be there when they need me. promise.

SMU and life there

2009-08-30T21:35:00.000+08:00

Different.

Very Different.

Stress because i want to score. Will i be able to do it? It seems so uncertain. Work is demanding.

New people. So many things to learn. EQ needs to grow. CCA coming. And many event.

Lonely. Who is here? Some friends are gone. I think and i know i lost a best friend. Left Alvin. Hope we will persevere.

Life is stressful now. I heard working is differnt, more stress. Coping!

I will survive. NOOO, i will score.

Air Asia

2009-08-20T12:43:00.000+08:00

So there was SMU and followed by Convocation. HOnestly, i think convocation is just a ceremony, no big deal. i was trying to stay awake.

luckily there came this speaker. not the normal speaker seen at convocation. his name is Tony Fernandes. a very interesting man. a very humourous speaker that catches the attention of his audience. and a true entrepreneur. great respect for this man.

first thing he did on stage was to change his erm weird looking cap(i dont know what the hell it is called) to his air asia cap. caught the attention of all students. woo. den he started his speech. i would like to recap what he said. i felt that the points are nice and i would like to emulate him.

he talked abt 3 factors for success.

1. People.
Internal Branding - in order for ur company to be renown, the most important thing to let your own people be convinced of your own product(in this case Air Asis). You are only as good as your people. They run the show. so with conviction in their mind, things work much better.

Mr Tony works as one of his staff work(no matter air crew(not pilot btw. hahaz) or watever, cant really remember) once a month or once in 2 months. he illustrates that this helps him understand their role and to know them better. it allows him a better and different view of his company.

Nurturing and Realising potential - he is in the league to nurture potential in his company. he sends bellboys(with potential) and people interested to become pilot. he helps them succeed and in return they help him succeed. he dont put people down.

2. Marketing and Branding
Putting money behind brand(Advertising) - in this hughly competitive world, we need to brand ourselves so that others knows. when others know, they will prefer. he did it with manchester united and referee. and is not afraid to advertise on places which his planes do not visit.

global branding

3. innovation
do not be afraid - try and try. evaluate the risks and go for it.

networking

some of the points are rather straight forward and i cannot really remember what he said. however it was an impressive feat of him. and i respect him.

Blogging

2009-08-10T10:22:00.000+08:00

time has changed. things have moved. the people around me are no longer the same usual bunch that was around me. i dont know if i can get used to the new friends. i dont know if i will be able to adapt. uncertainties. i dont think the same now. i feel weird. sometimes, i feel lonely. i miss my npcc, i miss my odac. i am not really looking forward to my life in uni. getting first class honours seems impossible to me. but i have to get it. i must get it. i hope time can reverse into those carefree days.

LKC Scholarship

2009-05-09T11:30:00.002+08:00

And so i got the scholarship. It wasn't easy.

First let me do a simple introduction to this scholarship. Its a double degree one. and there is 50 ppl selected. i guess the bulk of the guys are selected during the first part of the scholarship in jan. i belong to the second part.

It is not easy getting it and i cherish the tot of being a scholarship.

This is a thanks to the ppl helping and motivating me forward in my life, moulding my character and standing by me when i doubt myself and when i am lost.

1. Mum!! of cos she is the one. she is the most impt person in my life now. i love her a lot and i hope she will remain healthy and cheerful like always. She moulded me when young. can still remember when she made me sit in the living room and ask me to read the dictionary. crying for me when i had a bad quarrel with her, fetching me to sch when it is raining, buying food back for breakfast, pushing my dad away when he wacks me, etc. Mum, you're the best!! thanks for everything.

2. Alvin of cos next. the trueful best fren tt stayed with me, guiding me when i walked on the wrong path. thanks. many many. shallnt say more cos have said enuf.

3. jin pei for being the man for me. asking me out always den always forget him. always here when i need him. sorry on some occasions. music freak like me. intro me to tons of nice songs. :D

4. iris - my mei lo. nice gal. lolz, thanks for listening and dont trash me in pool again. super no face leh. hahaz.

5. keith. thanks!!!

yea. i want to persevere on. if not for these ppl, i dont think i will without these ppl in my life. thanks! i will do u all proud

Lee Kong Chian Scholarship

2009-04-22T22:45:00.002+08:00

Hello guys,

Its been long since i last blogged. Nothing much seriously went by. Too engrossed in work. Pretty tough especially i have a lousy engineer. I have to take over his job. Like wtf... But its alright. I have pretty adapted myself to the lifestyle and i guess he is going to be sacked soon. Not that i am happy about it but its the best for the company. The company is dying under him. Lol. Have learnt a lot during these days working. EQ upzz.

Looking at the title reminds me of what happen today. I went for the First Round of interview for the LKCS. It was a group activity. First activity was an ice-breaker which needs us to present a sales pitch to some potential client and our thing is coffin. We did Petradise. Not bad. Creative and i believed we did a good job. I was in the same group as Yong Yi. Cool. He was very vocal which liven up the group.

Second activity was a skit which lasted for a while before we were made to change skit with the other group and we had to present theirs. The way they perform their skit will determine how well we do and vice versa. Lastly was a group panel. We were asked questions like who is the weakest link in the group and who is the strongest? Who Should deserve the scholarship? The idea they said is to put pressure on us. I don't think it is correct. Maybe they should find another way to do it. Not like that. Hahaz. I was pretty neutral(which is a minus point as ppl will feel that i am not confident) but i just do not want to hurt anyone's feeling. No point anyway. The scholarship is not a do-or-die thing for me. Of cos i want it but without it, i will survive too. :D

Overall, i met a bunch of nice gals(since my group mates are all gals except yong yi and me). Enjoyed myself.

Working

2009-03-29T19:29:00.000+08:00

Have been working for a month. Learnt a lot and am glad i learnt a lot. The world seems different from Army and School. There are so many things involve. Seems disappointed by a lot of things in work.

Life is better i guess. Meaningful and Happy. :d

2009-03-19T15:43:00.000+08:00

没那种命歌词爱情这东西没道理的有人很抢手有人没资格路是人走的我害怕什么大不了别爱了她像个天仙她太美了我那么平凡我开不了口心里面晓得追她的结果幸运的不是我我没那种命呀她没道理爱上我英雄和美人哪是一国的只怪爱人太少了对手太好了劝自己别傻了以前甭提了以后非加油不可我没那种命呀轮也不轮到我爱情老是缺货我争什么时间越来越少了越来越老了我剩下一个梦她走过来说其实我错了她爱我她走过来说其实你错了我爱你

Birthday Month

2009-03-19T09:40:00.002+08:00

This month is the month of BIRTHDAYS man. 1st march is little bro one, followed by 7th march is alvin's birthday, 9th is dajie(xier), 11th is Mine & Chun Yuan's, 12th is jin pei, 19th is mum's, 22nd is medium bro(siong) and jem. I think still have others but ya this is all i can remember. wow. that is a lot. spent a lot this month also. but happy also

got 4 gifts for my birthday this month. not bad since i wasnt expecting any.

1. mum gave me some money for present. hahaz. it was alright since i needed them.

2. alvin gave me a pair of soccer shoes. NICE.

3. mr phang and van gave me a pair of shoes also. white. NICE too. hahaz.

4. jin pei and bing zhao gave me a BON JOVI album. great CD.

Thanks guys. like it a lot.

What Happens @ ODAC 22nd Paintball Session!

2009-02-05T23:19:00.000+08:00

Jeremy called for an ODAC Paintball session! Haha here's a prelude...

On the ground... Platoon Sergeant Ye GuanJie(the Guardsman) is ready for war!
Took a peek at his guardstab on the left arm and shouted: "Eh, whole lot FALL IN!"

Tai Yong (the Infantry troop), Sheng Long (the Bombman) & Jeremy (the Fireman) enters the fray... but they couldn't find any enemy, nor the rest of the guys.

A plane flew overhead and Wei Long (the Commmando) airbornes into the fighting zone. The firemen shot him with the high-pressure water blast THIS IS AGAINST THE GENEVA CONVENTION BUT JEREMY DNO COS HE NEVER STUDY HARD ENOUGH!... and Wei Long healed himself as he's a medic. And who flew the flight? ChangTai (the Air Crew Specialist) Opps! The plane was hit!

ChangTai: "MAYDAY MAYDAY!!! We're hit! We're hit! It's a black hawk down, we have a Black Hawk Down..."

BOOM!

Sheewsh Sheewsh Sheewsh.... the Artillery hit the plane!! All proned down to take cover, Tai Yong took the chance to do push-ups. Now, no wonder Keith wasn't anywhere to be seen. He's deployed somewhere else to fire the shells. I think he's deployed at Beijing. Not the one in China though, the one that says BeiJing101.

"19 this is 11,reference last. Troops in the fray softened, I will be attacking mounted, Over."
"11 this is 11, with me move now, out."
Teck Hao (11) drove his BX into the fray only to be taken out straight by Clement (the anti-tank) Clement gives the gay-grin of a yellow balloon, revealing his braces-no-more!

After all the commotion, Sheng Long's bomb went off accidentally because he was too busy looking at Vanessa.
BOOM!!!!!!!.....
There was silence for 5 mikes before Chee Yong (the QM)'s tonner arrived with the re-supply... Erms, wait nvm about the re-supp, the QM probably finished up all the food on the way here. Bomb means civil-disaster! Where is the fireman?! Where is the fireman?!

Eh, LauJiaSheng! Comms for the fireman lea!!!

"Fireman, this is LJS, Message Over."

Jeremy the Fireman: "Combo 1 please. Regular Ice Lemon Tea, thanks."

ZZZ!!!

nice man! woo. who say i will finish up the food. but hahaz everyone is inside. i really hope we will have a paintball session. :D

David Feinberg(Kumar's Poem)

2009-01-29T11:52:00.000+08:00

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

one day, hope can read this to my love. if i have one.

New Zealand

2009-01-25T21:58:00.002+08:00

New Zealand is a beautiful country( yes, even to ppl like me going on a official trip, it is beautiful). the untouched scenery and the fresh breeze of air swept me off my feet when i reached there. the politeness of the people(waving at you whenever they pass you) definitely is a plus point too. i totally enjoyed the trip.

day 1: touch down after a super long trip. slightly lost as i am not prepared for my evaluation. dont know much about what i am going to be tested on and whatsoever.

day 2 to day 15: i guess many things happen along these days. i feel so lazy to type. but for the sake of reevaluating my experience again, i shall share some parts of them.

me, my rq and my understudy came tgt to start planning on everything for the days to come. we started with a plan to teach my guys on the evaluation.

first, we broke them,
my managers under me is not working as managers but as men so first, i had to wake them up. tekan them slightly to wake up their idea. it works wonders when they started to become more proactive. then i started on my men level. making them work very hard, giving them timing to meet, punishing them for not following instructions. soon they were mentally and physically prepared but they started to come to hate me.

then we made them.
then, i started to educate them and to relax on my punishment. letting them know the light of why things go and the reason. giving them chances and giving them time to feel bad. letting them motivate and encourage each other on. they started to gel together and work together. there was no longer a segregation of groups.

i have to be more confident.
i gain my confidence back. not bad. i always felt incomplete and wanted to change to become better. but i finally realise that part of my incompleteness is due to my confidence. i lose it somewhere along the trip(not to nz). i am slowly gaining it back again.

finally, just want to say tt my men did not let me down. i am proud of u guys. continue to persevere. ORD lo. and that this trip open my eyes and my experience up by a lot. thanks.

Family Day

2008-12-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

I am going swimming tomorrow!

Code Geass

2008-11-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

Was watching this show just now. superb. wonderful character casting plus character development. love this show.

the way the character bounces between good and evil. the way they think. awesome. strongly recommended.

Time flies...

2008-11-02T21:21:00.001+08:00

long time nvr blog. it seems life is getting more and more fucked up. especially with work.

caught in somewhat a struggle btw my 2 boss. one is my immediate boss. the other one is my boss's boss. they 2 like fighting den i implicated lo. getting fucked for nothing. nvrm lo. juz suck thumb.

hahaz. why am i blogging today? i guess because i feel like blogging. we are always living in our own world of restriction and fear. let it go once in a while and breathe in the fresh air(with all the bloody pollution) and let out a sigh of relaxation. arhhhh.

Teachings and Learnings

2008-08-30T02:09:00.000+08:00

I have become stronger this week. many things are being inputted into me. i am still trying to digest them.

1. i wanna let myself go. i am living in constriction, thinking of what i can should or should not say. i think i want to let myself out. of cos there will and always be a certain restriction but i want to let myslef be more free. hq bsm

2. i have learn to be more helpful. in a sense that i am not a charity organisation(giving help everytime and everywhere without a consideration of wat i am in) but i want to do the extra mile for ppl. go the extra mile. put in the extra effort. thanks sir for teaching me s4

3. i want to be rich!!!

Happiness

2008-08-25T11:34:00.000+08:00

how much of hurt can someone hold inside him? i dno. dont want to know.

imagine a world without love. some will say its gr8. but many will curse it.

speed without foundation is nth compared to foundation without spd. maybe it was too fast.

home sweet home

2008-08-10T16:44:00.000+08:00

home is where everything started and i guess it is where everything end. i love my home with its touched of green here and there. i love the people in my home. the lvoe and joy felt there. even if i am drunk i can still go home. hahaz.

eh ppl. chalet in end of sep. will cfm date again. yepz so make urself free sia.

2008-07-12T20:13:00.003+08:00

ever since this blog was started, i only had 41 posts. not bad wor. for someone as lazy as me to have 41 post is already a gd thing. :D

yesterday went for this dance garage by SMU. must say that there is many babes wor. :D looks like SMU is a good choice. hahaz. joking. i wanna get 1st class honours one so must be focus. :p their dance was good. nice show.

today is odac investiture. cant go. sianz. somemore it is my own brother's investiture. quite fucked up. but i know he will understand. tried to change my duty le but no one free to do tt. haiz.. nvrm ba. juz accept it lo.

these few weeks are gonna get super super busy. i hope can still manage to have some time to slack. i'm a slacker u know. nvr like to do work one. working sucks. hahaz.

its been a long long time since i last saw my gd frens. missed them. wonder how they are doing.

looking back at the past. realised that i had done many stupid things. but i dont regret them as they are part of my life. dont know if my life is considered exciting but i like it anyway. i remembered staying in aj because i like a girl den dunwan to go. hahaz. den i remembered skipping lectures juz to sleep. i remembered singing k box in the middle of the a levels. hahaz. that was gd :D i remembered crying on a bus to orchard. i remembered going for chalet b4 start of ab camp and forget to slp ending up in a very shag chee yong for ab camp. still got not studying for tests. nvr do hmwk. asking my teacher to let me slp in her maths tutorial and to my surprise she said ok. copying hmwk. getting angry at ppl getting late :P getting scolded by mr lim. wow. that's alot le.

thinking of the past makes me think of the future. wonder how will it be.

-things that passed will nvr come back. look forward man.

shag

2008-06-27T21:34:00.001+08:00

wow. i couldnt believe i am that tired. once i reached home and lie on my comfortable bed, i dozed off. not bad for a nice rest. now i am super hungry. but i am always hungry. hahaz.

back from course. cool. met some new frens. happy. hahaz.

eh old frens, its been a long time since we last met up. i will try and arrange for a meeting k? dont worry, i wont forget u all de.

Reflection

2008-06-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

Am i too kind? these are the words i am thinking to myself these days. i treat my fren well. i tr8 my colleague well. i tr8 my men well. maybe too well.

i am in a course now. been doing a lot for these past few weeks. the course is split into 2 grps. my grp has many tt love to slack and will slack. and slack they do. we have done css planning, movement ex and everything. a few frens and i always slog our ass off but these few always sit and slack. even if i pass a task to them, they will eventually prey on the nicer ppl and pass the task away. can i reprimand them??? i didnt. why is there such officers? they are really a disgrace. and they even have the cheek to say that they dont know they need to do when the instructors said the task in front of everyone. a few times, i nearly blow! fuck.

i realise that my men tend to climb over my head. should i be stricter?? dont know.

learning is never ending. ppl will always face difficulty. face it and win

old friends.

2008-06-01T15:52:00.002+08:00

met up with alvin, quah, kalu, brandon, pecky, choon wee, weixian on fri. it was lik old times. i have to say tt i am not close at all to pecky choon wei xian brandon and mayb kalu. drifted apart from kalu. but quah and alvin were like old times. it was very comfortable to be with them. talk abt anything. somemore, we are not like new frens, super keqi. we are like old old frens. coming out to talk cock. i think i need to go out with them more. shouldn open up my circle also. :D

SL bdae today. wish him all the best. :D best fren forever

2008-04-27T20:39:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, lonely.

Who is there waiting for me?

Where are you?

When will you come?

Why not me?

Am i getting desperate?

Why am i feeling this way?

My best friend is occupied now. No one to talk to. Not that there isn't anyone to talk to. But...

Life goes on...

zouk

2008-04-12T03:32:00.000+08:00

wild escape. lolz. weird night.

2008-04-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

you know. sometimes, i dont really give a damn to what you say. you just want to be superior and want to be the boss. hmm. y am i typing this when i dont give a damn. i guess i do. just a bit frustrated at u doing this to us. pls dont do it again cos i dont like it. thanks alot

commission

2008-03-15T07:58:00.002+08:00

after 3 weeks of marching. finally going to commission. mixed feeling now. going to do parade in the evening. commissionin is always a goal for me. now that i've reached my goal, i feel very proud of myself. however, wat's the next step i am going to take. i dont know anything abt my unit now. havent really went down. dont know wat to expect. however, wat i will say is that i will do my best. i wanna live up to be a good officer. i want my man to be the best that they can ever be. i want to be their mentor, friend, leader, path finder in life. however, its not as easy said as done. i will do it.

looking back, its 9 mths. 9 long mths in ocs. its not an easy route. however, its filled with mnay memorable experience. i learnt alot. still learning. :D

granny

2008-03-08T20:02:00.002+08:00

she has white hair and lost all her teeth. but that doesnt stop her from smiling. she always smile at me when i visit her at her house. seeing me makes her happy. she pampers me with food and sometimes money. i will kindly reject but she will stubbornly insist. she was my granny.

on the 4th of march 2008 she passed away. i love her. always.

New Year

2008-02-12T20:59:00.001+08:00

The year of the rat. this is the year i will turn 20. no more in the teens. what have i done with my life so far? i achieved alot. i havent regretted any part of my life. its a good life so far.

there are many ppl i wanna mention in this post.

1. my family - dad, mum, siong, chun(although u always give me headache)
u all give me a lot of support all these years. thanks. chun, i know kor always scold u and u dont like me. i juz want u to be a better person and let mum and dad be less worried abt u. work hard and play hard. siong, have fun in aj odac. i'm sure u will learn alot there. mum and dad, stay healthy and happy.

2. alvin
bro, thanks. i dont really know wat to say. juz thanks. for juz being there, always. best fren!

3. sheng long
hahaz. best fren too. diff type though. same thing. thanks. everything.

4. chang tai, alan, keith, teckie,
gr8 frens! work hard. i'll try and organise stuff to have fun. had fun on new year. hope we can always have fun. although we have gone separate ways but we will always be 22nd. more soccer! haz. meet up often and always remain happy!

5. the elementz. phoon, nick, oh jia, bingz and last but not least wee kim(who is in brunei now)
soccer rox! let's gather when wee kim comes back. miss him. its been a long time since we last met up as a whole grp. :D

6. 22nd -
i hope all of us will remain tgt and remain bonded. its hard for us to meet up but be sure that i will try my best to arrange fr time to meet up. 22!!!

7. uncle adrian
remain happy man. your laughter makes my day.

8. my juniors 23rd.
remain happy and fun.

the rest of my frens, i didnt forget u but u all dont come into any of this category.
paiseh if i nvr mention u. i nvr forget u. juz tt if i cont to write i will miss my book in timing. hahaz. type this when nites out lo. tata

helpless when she smiles

2008-01-05T16:03:00.001+08:00

She keeps the secrets in her eyes
She wraps the truth inside her lies
Just when I can't take what she's done to me
She comes to me
And leads me back to paradise

She's so hard to hold
But I can't let go

I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She danced away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles

Maybe I'd fight it if I could
It hurts so bad, but feels so good
She opens up just like a rose to me
When she's close to me
Anything she asked me to, I would
[Helpless When She Smiles lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

It's out of control
But I can't let it go

I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She danced away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles

When she looks at me
I get so weak

I'm a house of cards in a hurricane
A reckless ride in the pouring rain
She cuts me and the pain is all I wanna feel
She danced away just like a child
She drives me crazy, drives me wild
But I'm helpless when she smiles

2007-12-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

planning for nite cycling. not simple. all of us are busy and its hard to coordinate this project. but i'm glad tt we took it in our stride and gather tgt to plan. its been a long time since we plan for such a major project. its like reliving the old moments except tt there is no mr lim above me. its more stressful because i have to be responsible for everything. i want this event to be a success. it requires the effort of all! i guess its time for me to grow up and do it myself. i cant say tt the planning is perfect and wat. but i will try my best to make it a success.

-the first sunrise of the year, let us enjoy it together-

back

2007-12-16T01:30:00.001+08:00

hey guys, sorry abt nvr posting for so long. juz remember my precious blog when guan jie mention it to me today.

busy with alot of stuff recently. be it arty or life. i realise that i still hav so many things to learn and do. sometimes really no time/no feel to blog. whoever read this juz give me a tag lo. hahaz. sheng long and teck juz commissioned today. wonder when will it be my turn and will i reach the golden mark? have some problems with soc. hahaz. quite embarrassiong lo. but i am trying my best. dont laugh.

my leadership also have problem. needa learn more. be a better man. realise that i am not cool enuf. too temperamental. not good. nvm i will slowly learn. dad and mum and my bros overseas now so stuck at hm alone.

was quite pissed juz now(talking abt being cool. lolz, i still hav a long way). rang the doorbell so many times and called my house so many times but my maid nvr open the door. quite jialat. den i hav to climb over my wall. which is like wat the hell. and den i have to climb up and down and finally found my key to get into the house. and all the while i was calling and ringing the bell and banging the door. wonder if she was really asleep. haiz... but its over. nth to worry now

bought a new pair of shoes. quite happy. now this sound gay but its quite a long time since i bught myself another shoe. juz realise that i should buy one. alan and keith went with me. white adidas with red stripe. chang tai and sl suggestion. tmr hav to book in early quite sianz. from now on sat book out. hahaz. but but but wed got book out i guess cos of haji. cool

when u realise that u are the best, u juz have to push urself down the climb of fake rocks and realise that u are standing on the hills amongst the mountains. dont understand den call me or sms me lo. i dont mind keeping in touch with frens. :)

so long

2007-09-22T14:09:00.000+08:00

new post. i bet no one will come here and read but i dont really care. army life is so long.

ocs was stressful with many things to do. oe always have to perform to the best of his capabilities. it is a long and hard road. how many weeks have passed? i dont know. i only know i went through a lot. learnt alot too. made many good friends. service term passing le. wonder how pro term will be like. it gonna be another long term ahead but i am looking forward to it.

artillery. i am going arty to become an arty officer. is tt god news or bad news. leaving a familiar environment to go to a new one. many say arty slck but i dont know. hope so ba. next sunday going to brunei with keith. hope its fun. but i think brunei kind of sucks.

looking ahead with anticipation. feel kinda of lonely sometimes. not that i dont have good friends but i dont know how to explain this feeling.

something happy. i got a new psp slim. white in colour. looks gr8! quite happy with it although i spent alot on it.

2007-05-24T18:48:00.000+08:00

i am not supposed to use the net now. supposed to be in camp. but sick sia.. 38.7 quite high so went to see MO den he give me attend C(MC) so now at home. bored.

joke of the week

2007-04-11T13:23:00.001+08:00

Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the wall open, and behind the door was perhaps the ugliest woman they had ever seen. She was 3'4", dirty, and you could smell her even over the Brimstone.

The voice of the Devil was heard, "Brett, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Brett was whisked through the door by a group of lesser demons to his torment.

This understandably shook up the other two, and so they both jumped when a second door opened, and they saw an even more disgusting example of womanhood gone wrong. She was over 7' tall, monstrous, covered in thick black hair,and flies circled her.

The voice of the Devil was heard, "Carl, you have sinned! You are condemned to spend the rest of eternity in bed with this woman!" And Carl, like Brett, was whisked off.

Bob, now alone, felt understandably anxious, and feared the worst when the third door opened. And as the door inched open, he strained to see the figure of ... Cindy Crawford. Delighted, Bob jumped up, taking in the sight of this beautiful woman, dressed in a skimpy bikini. Then he heard the voice of the Devil saying:

"Cindy, you have sinned."

joke of the day

2007-04-11T13:15:00.000+08:00

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."

regrets

2007-04-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

regrets over myself. why am i such a lousy brother? y cant i do some things well? y cant i...

sometimes, just fall into this pit holes where i drown myself. y cant i be better. u can say there is no perfect man in this world. but y cant there be? maybe because we are not god. i dont believe in god. maybe because.. there is no because. it is a fact people just accept and forget. feeling very sucky now. cant sleep although i want to. dont really want to talk to anyone.

drown myself in this hole and hope to be reborn tommorow. otherwise, i can continue drowning until the day i die.

如果你还爱我

2007-04-06T21:53:00.001+08:00

我带着一颗疲惫的心走了
我知道自己在你心里已不重要
虽然我们曾经相聚过
也许对于你来说
已经没有什么值得回忆
我带着一颗沉重的心走了
我知道自己没有勇气道别离
虽然我们曾经拥有过
但是对于你来说
已经没有什么值得回忆
难道早以注定
不能真正拥有你
难道我真心付出一切
只为了承受孤单和寂寞
我知道你不敢对我坦白
是不要看到我的伤怀
虽然你没有说要离开我
我已经感到你不再属于我
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
又怎会让我在漫漫长夜独自徘徊
如果你还爱我
你不会对我如此的冷漠
我只能含着眼泪
默默的离开

你要的不是我

2007-04-05T00:31:00.001+08:00

怎么能忘时间多长
你快乐吗想代替你回答
你知道吗走了好远
我才能去面对
这份牵挂沉默伤悲
你要的不是我
心碎的失去轮廓
曾经给你的感动
只是情绪的波动
能给的不是我
放任你沉溺自由
掩饰不了我的笨拙
就连说话都会颤抖
我被遗忘在
你遗忘的角落
我被遗忘在你遗忘的角落

2007-03-28T13:33:00.000+08:00

no worki nowadays. quite free. many things are happening and i am happy with myself now. no troubles and no worries. preparing for army. lolz.. seem so weak now.. train train

2007-03-18T00:49:00.000+08:00

i was sick today. now better. friends are there because they want to be, not because of obligation, neither because of profit.

life

2007-03-15T19:58:00.000+08:00

life is still the same.. hahaz. except tt now i am without a job.. didnt have anything to do so i just wanted to blog.
just discovered tt my blog changed. last time, i used to blog abt my life. now i am also blogging abt my life. except that it is no longer the everything of my life but more of twat i think.. hahaz...

another thing nice.. hahaz.. :)

2007-02-10T15:10:00.000+08:00

something nice

2007-02-10T15:08:00.000+08:00

2007-01-29T14:10:00.000+08:00

working and life is a total match. sometimes, i wish i didnt start working. its just so tiring. but i enjoyed every moment of it. learnt alot and met many different people from all woks of life. moreover, my work place(to me), doesnt have a lot of politics. the people there are generally nice people. wonder how my future work place will be like. i am a very competitve person so i wont be contented to be in a place for long. i want to achieve more and more, i want to reach my peak. maybe you will think that i am ambitious. that is true. i am ambitious. i want to achieve a whole lot more. i want to stand at the top of the sky and look at all that i have done and give myself a pat at the back. after that, i will be contented to just step back and enjoy life. i dont want to be a little no body. so i guess my future work place will be really fun(to me at the very least).

-i am young and i have my goals-

work

2007-01-25T01:05:00.000+08:00

yoyoyoz.. chee yong here. wondering how's life with all of you all.. i guess only about 2 to 3 viewers are reading. so yepz. some kind if question ya? hmm.. life is work for me. going to do relief teaching at AJ soon. hope so lah. cos mr ong just asked me to go back to help. since i am free(tt week at the very least). can get to meet mr lim again. wondering how the students will think of me when i go back. thinking of how i should handle them. there is also a possibility that i might be rejected but well.. its all up to fate.
life at work is ... normal.. maybe i should just stop acting crazy and be normal abit. but well.. the mood at work is always so boring.. i wanna enjoy my work.. yepz.. so...
my working buddies are all very fun ppl and i hope they are okay with me and are not irritated by my craziness. hope so ba.. maybe i am thinking too much again but ya.. it doesnt hurt to think more.. hmm.. it does hurt... irony ya.
i really dont know what the hell am i blogging for since my life is so predictable.. i miss drinking and i miss odac.. i miss doing proposals. life has got to move on but i wish that i can just go back. although i had trouble doing my homework but i had my many friends there. now at work, i have friends too but we just met and..
fuck.. i dont know wha the hell i am saying.. getting damn tired.. wanna rest but cant sleep.. sianz.. life is life. and once again i dont know what i am typing. nvrm.. shall sign off here.

friends and just friends

2007-01-16T11:25:00.000+08:00

best friends i have 2.
they are so different.
one is like those guy to guy type of best friend. we dont need to talk much we dont need to see each other much but when the tie comes, we understand each other. i find that this type of friend are the rarest cos we have to totally understnad each other. its hard for me to talk to my relative or my some-so-called-close-friends when we didnt meet each other for a long time. but he and me have no problem and i am super fortunate to have him as a best friend.
the other is more of a typical best friend ba. he and me talk often. i guess i have to maintain my relationship with him. cos he is different from the first. but however, i like him alot too(in a way of best friend) and i dont mind talking to him. and its nice to have someone to talk to who knows alot abt u and can give plenty of suggestions to u. different from alvin but similar in different ways.

to me both of them are important in my life and i treasure them.
just wanna dedicate this blog to them who made my life lah. without them, hmm, life will be so boring. yepz.

work

2006-12-17T13:00:00.000+08:00

first time in my life i'm working.. hope i am doing fine.. hahaz.. its quite fn lah.. but i heard when it gets routine, i'll get bored. hope not.. :)

troubled

2006-12-10T11:57:00.000+08:00